Questions from readers

I had a few questions from readers, so as promised here they are with answers.

I'm interested in kink but my life partner finds it a little strange. He is willing to choke me a little once in a while but I can tell he is uncomfortable with it so it's not as hot. Any advice?

Be reassuring when he does do it, let him know how hot it was for you (even if its not as hot as you want).  The point is for your SO to know that you like what they did.  Do you have a safeword/signal?  Having a safeword/signal will let him know that if he ever goes to far that you can tell him to stop.  Another idea would be to find some erotica with breathplay in it from the receivers point of view, so her can read how it makes someone else feel.

Would you ever cheat on your wife? If so, what would it take for you to do so?

No, I would never cheat on my wife.  One, cheating is one of the few things that I just can't stand.  There is no reason for it, its the cowards way out.  If you are unhappy with your relationship, then end the relationship and then its not cheating.  Far too often people try and find "reasons" or "excuses" or even blame their partner for why they cheated, when really if boils down to this.  You made a commitment, if you don't want to uphold that commitment anymore, then end the commitment.

Two, my wife and I can take on other partners as long as the other approves and is within the guidelines that we have established. There by removing that as a reason.  There are plenty of ways to also involve others without having to be cheating.  non-monogamous pairs have been around for years.  The big differance here is communication, of which my wife and I have a lot.  

I want to start of by saying that I'm extremely impressed with your blog. Unlike the few I've seen before, it isn't just a shade of cosmopolitan magazine, and truly supports the learning process of sex. I'm emailing you because I wasn't really sure if the comment box was working and I wanted the opportunity to hear your input. I like the idea of showing my dominance in the bedroom, but with a lack of creativity I have a hard time getting beyond just telling her what I want. At a certain point it's simply having regular sex except I've told her to do it. I know that dominance can be established in other ways, and I'd hate to give up the practice because it's becoming repetitive. Do you have any suggestions for a situation like this?

Thank you for your kind words. I due try and offer a wide variety of topics and try to offer as aspects of of that topic as I can. I feel that sex is one of the few topics that you can never learn it all, even myself.

Have you read the blog I wrote about Dominance and submission in the bedroom?
How your Dominance and submission for the two of you is going to play out, is up to you. Have you talked about what might be off limits for her to do? Once you know whats off limits to do, you can start from there on coming up with ideas of what to do. You can tell her to masturbate for you, to wear a specific outfit or style of clothing for you, really the possibilities or only limited by your own mind. If you still need some help, find out what she is not willing to do, what she really likes, what you like and let me know. I can see what I can come up with for you.

One way that I get ideas is to read erotica with a BDSM theme. A good site for this is Literotica.com. Read a few stories along the lines of what you like and see what kind of creative juices get flowing.

Thanks for the questions. I really do enjoy getting them. 

Keep it kinky!

-Haven